Dr. Suess

Here’s an easy game to play.
Here’s an easy thing to say....

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn’t hash,
then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gona crash.

You can’t say this? What a shame, sir!
We’ll find you another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side-effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gunna hang!

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,
and the microcode instructions cause unecessary risc,
then you have to flash your memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.
quickly turn of your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Safety Warnings

My mum got this little present this year called 'grow your own toy boy' where you place this 1 inch doll in water and in 72 hours it grows 600%.

BUT the thing i found most amusing about this 'toy boy' was the warning on the back :-

'WARNING: SMALL PARTS MAY BE A CHOKING HAZARD'

cut down in his prime, poor guy

Interesting Article

Now here's a post I think everyone should read, first line goes:-

If you have the slightest creative talent, you are probably being hustled constantly to create for little or no money.

Be sure to follow the link to the following article too at the end.

Inappropriate jokes for all the family this christmas time

Heard these at the pub tonight so you'll have to forgive me.....

What's the difference between Mr Kipling and the Surrey police force?
With Mr Kipling you get 6 tarts in a box.

Did you hear about the dyslexic santa?
Put the prossies under the tree.

Surrey rugby team have had to disband - ran out of hookers.



On a lighter note - we've started calling my grandad 'spiderman', he can't get out the bath on his own either.

I've got a proper job...

..in the proper games industry, working on console games (PSP, Wii, PS2, PS3, XBox & XBox360)

HOWEVER....

When i noticed that the grass looked slightly greener on this side than the other, i looked down and noticed the word 'CUNT' marked out in bleach, then looked up and saw the fences were on fire, the sky turned grey and it started raining rocks. suddenly, where the bleached grass was a hole opened up and the very vision of hell was before me.....

....I'm hoping the sense of falling will go when i wake up


Found this interesting article too, worth a read

Questions to ask in your interview.....

I've been to a few interviews so far, and the interviewer always asks you wank questions like "where do you see yourself in five years?" - "the bahamas!". Near the end of the interview they will then ask if you have any questions for them, and i have found the following really effective........

* Do you press charges?

* Do you do random drug testing?

* Would I get the job if I slept with your wife again?


You guys got anymore for the interviews I have coming up??

Jack's Back!!

available on DVD